They say the path to hell is paved with good intentions. Well, certainly the path to Fatland is, because I am the QUEEN of good intentions! I practically graded and paved my own super highway all the way to the land of McDonalds and Christmas Cookies. It hasn’t been pretty, let me tell you.
And the hardest thing to come to terms with is the feeling that I let everyone down that was counting on me to help them stay motivated over the holidays. But I know that I have the most bad-ass group of Losers out there and that you all totally understand this struggle and how hard we all sometimes fail despite our best efforts.
*sigh*
So I’m trying to simply forgive myself and move on. It’s the New Year yo!!!!!!! It’s that time when we all magically feel compelled to really attack our fitness goals, and I am by no means immune to the feeling of excitement that comes with that ball dropping at midnight. Of course, it’s easy to say type as I sit here gorged on homemade pizza and more beers that I really care to count. I even felt the desire to actually make resolutions this year. And I can’t recall having ever done that before! And you know what I realized as I carefully wrote out my list and realized that there were a lot of really amazing health/fitness related goals on it? Far beyond the typical “lose weight” that I would have written in the past?
I might have failed at a ton of things – but 2012 was nothing short of miraculous. For the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I have lost weight. About 35 pounds actually! I am constantly aware of health and fitness. I exercise on a fairly regular basis. I’ve become Zumba obsessed. I lead two local running clubs, and today I was asked by our local run shop whether I would be interested in leading the group runs from the store. I started running. RUNNING!!! I have HATED running with the passion of a thousand burning suns for as long as my memory can reflect on. I mean…come on now. Did I lose as much weight as I could have since April? NO. Did I finish the Holiday Challenge the way that I had intended to? NO. Did I fall off the wagon, like – a thousand times? YES.
But in the end, in reflection, 2012 can be remembered by me as the year when things finally changed. Something inside me was ignited and sometimes it’s a roaring fire and sometimes it’s a smoldering ember, but it’s always there now. I wont quit. I CAN’T quit!
2013, we OWN you! It’s OUR time! The year of the Loser!
Hooray! Yes we can and we will. I feel the same way, did I lose the 20 pounds I wanted by the first of the year, no. But did I finally start doing something different, YES! I know I have a long way to go but I can honestly say this is the best shape I have been in for the last 8 years from exercise and by far this year I have had considerably better eating habits. My drinking is down a lot, I eat way more veggies, and for the first time in forever I have been counting calories and holding myself accountable! This is our year, lucky number 13!
Awesome post honey. It is inspirational and a great reminder to never give up. Every day we have to turn our face towards changing our minds about ourselves – our bodies, our foods, and our exercise. Thanks for cheering me on this journey as well. It’s great for us and our children to see us give the respect we need.
I’m looking forward and I see some great things happening in ’13!